What Happened to 100/100? Challenging the Timeline of Relationship Partnerships

Dr. Gideon Fadiran

In recent years, especially among socially conscious communities, the idea of a 50/50 relationship, a perfect numerical balance of contributions between partners, has gained traction. However, real-life partnerships are far more complex and dynamic. In my view, true balance is achieved not through strict equal division, but by both partners contributing 100% in ways that appreciate their unique strengths, vulnerabilities, and needs.

Playing to Our Strengths

Specialization and Contribution

Imagine a partnership where each person gets to shine in the areas they truly have the gifts or skills to lead. If one of you is a guru in the kitchen and the other is not as gifted in the area of cooking, why not let the partner that is best at cooking, take charge in that area? It’s not about one person shouldering more work, it’s about each of you using your unique talents to benefit the whole family. And when life throws a curveball, like an unexpected illness, there’s always an opportunity for both to step up, learn new skills, or even find creative workarounds like ordering in.

Leadership and Mutual Support

From conversations, it can be assumed that a lot of women cherish the feeling of being supported and protected by their partner. It’s not that they’re incapable on their own, but there’s comfort and strength in knowing that someone is ready to lead when needed. Think about the challenges following a post-baby delivery, having a husband who can step up to guide, protect, and comfort his partner during such a vulnerable time can make all the difference. This kind of leadership isn’t about control, it’s about creating a safe and loving space where both partners feel truly supported.

Revisiting Past Attitudes

For a long time, traditional roles had men under the pressure of being the sole breadwinners and leaders, with little room to show vulnerability. This old-school mindset not only overwhelmed men, especially those struggling with financial or professional challenges, but also meant that their emotional needs were often ignored. The expectation that men must always be the unemotional provider contributed to a culture where expressing feelings was seen as a weakness. Recognizing these outdated pressures helps us see why today’s relationships need a different approach, one that values full, mutual support over fixed roles.

Redefining Domestic Duties

Dismantling Gendered Expectations

We’ve all grown up hearing that women should handle childcare, cleaning, and managing the home, while men are there mainly for financial support. Holding on to these stereotypes limits us all. By embracing a 100/100 mindset, couples can mix things up and share domestic tasks in a way that plays to each partner’s strengths. Whether it’s cooking dinner, handling the bills, or organizing family outings, every chore becomes an opportunity to build respect and grow closer together.

Flexibility and the Art of Adaptation

Life is full of surprises, and strict expectations can only lead to frustration. In a truly supportive partnership, each person is willing to pitch in when the other needs a break. Whether it’s an overwhelming work deadline, personal challenges, or the rollercoaster of postpartum recovery, being ready to adapt and help out makes all the difference.

This willingness to learn new skills or even temporarily pick up extra responsibilities shows that support isn’t measured by perfect splits, it’s about the quality of care you share.

Nurturing Mental and Emotional Well-Being

The Impact on Overall Mental Health

To really thrive as a couple, and as a family, the mental and emotional well-being of both partners must be a top priority. Picture the intense stress that can accompany life after childbirth: the physical toll, emotional rollercoaster, and endless demands. Expecting one person to handle everything while the other contributes solely through financial means can create an imbalance that hurts everyone. A supportive relationship means being there for each other in every way, especially during life’s most challenging moments.

Role Modeling for the Next Generation

Our kids learn a lot by watching us. When they see both parents getting involved in every aspect of daily life, whether it’s taking charge, showing care, or simply sharing in the chores, they learn about teamwork, empathy, and respect. This balanced approach sets a powerful example that resonates throughout their lives, preparing them to build healthier relationships of their own in the future.

Beyond 50/50: The Case for a 100/100 Relationship

Aiming for an even 50/50 split can sometimes miss the point of what a real, healthy relationship is all about. For instance, some women value a partner who not only handles daily tasks but also provides leadership, clear direction, and emotional support. It’s not about being weak or submissive, it’s about blending strength with support to create an environment where both partners feel valued and secure.

And let’s be honest: during larger challenges, like times of conflict or crisis, it’s that very protective presence that can keep a family steady. Roles are not set in stone, they are flexible, adapting to each situation as it comes. What really matters is the quality of the care you provide each other, not whether every task is split right down the middle.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, a thriving relationship is built on much more than just dividing the chores. It’s about recognizing and celebrating each partner’s strengths, ensuring that leadership comes with warmth and understanding, and making sure that everyone’s physical and emotional needs are met. With a 100/100 approach, you create a partnership that’s dynamic, resilient, and deeply fulfilling, a relationship where support isn’t just checked off on a list, but given wholeheartedly.

Note:

This article is part of an ongoing series exploring different perspectives on relationships. I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences, let’s start a conversation about what it truly means to support one another in a partnership.